The Weirdest Things You Can Buy at Temu, the Internet’s New Favorite Jumble Sale (2024)

How shady is Temu?

While Temu isn’t an outright scam site, it’s not exactly trustworthy either. Its meteoric rise was fueled by aggressive marketing strategies, including a barrage of “free credit” offers and an army of thousands of “Temu Ambassadors” who flood TikTok and other social media sites with coupons to earn commissions for each signup they are linked to.

As you might expect from the online version of Dollar Tree, product quality and customer service are not always Temu’s strong points. The company has a 2.35 our of 5 star rating with the Better Business Bureau, with many users reporting long waits to receive products (or not receiving anything at all). In true internet-retailer-from-China-style, the product you receive also might bear only a passing resemblance to the photos on the site.

But else what would you expect? If you want a company with an established name and working customer service department, stick to Amazon. If you want a 3D printer for $13, Temu is your jam. (As eagle-eyed commenters have pointed out the $13 is actually for 3D printer filament, while the printer itself is around $100—still pretty cheap.)

What kinds of products should you purchase from Temu?

Temu’s bottom-of-the-retail barrel style is perfect for some kinds of products, especially things that don’t actually need to be high quality. If you want a plastic holder for soda cans for your fridge, or a basket to rinse rice, Temu is the move.

Temu is also good for taking risks. I put this $20 distortion pedal in my cart. It’s probably crappy, but you never know. But if you want something like new running shoes, I’d steer clear of ankle-breaking monstrosities like these Y2K Men’s Blade Sneakers. I wouldn’t buy cooking knives, bedding, or a tuxedo jacket on Temu either.

You can buy a lot of strange things on Temu

I might buy this shirt though. I assume it’s low-quality, uncomfortable, and made of melted plastic water bottles, but it’s literally the ugliest shirt I have ever seen. A shirt with a pattern this complicated would cost like $400 at Dan Flashes, but it’s less than eight bucks on Temu. It’s a novelty of a shirt, and novelty items are where Temu really shines.

Consider the following as all the proof you’ll need:

The “As Seen on TV” collection

Some people delight in the possibilities of gimmicky, single-use gadgets that solve problems no one actually has. Previous generations had to buy them through late-night infomercials at often astronomical prices. Temu can scratch the same itch for almost nothing, so if you see an ad for a product you like, check Temu before you buy. Below are some “as-seen-on-TV” style Temu knock-off products. I don’t recommend any of them.

• Slap Chopper ($4.98) Similar to Slap Chop ($19.95)

• Pelvic Floor Exercises/Kegel Exercises ($4.37) Similar to Thigh Master ($74.99)

• Wireless Juicer ($16.47) Similar to Magic Bullet Mini Juicer ($49.99)

• Wearable Blanket ($18.68) Similar to Snuggie ($19.88)

Temu sells many things you can smoke weed out of

I do not recommend any of these products, but if you like smoking weed and you’re too grown up to go with a crushed soda can, you can smoke weed out of...

• A tiny saxophone

• A gigantic earbud

  See Also

  Warning over 'free money' scam that offers £50 cash to sign up to websiteThe Truth About Temu, the Most Downloaded New App in AmericaIs Temu Legit? Things to Know Before You Shop — Best LifeI spent $50 on the Temu app — and I'm surprised by what happened

• A toilet

• A minion (wait, I mean a “yellow man cartoon shape;” it’s definitely NOT a minion.)

• A cartoon character pickle (again, not Pickle Rick from Rick and Morty.)

• A chicken drumstick

If your drug-taking predilections have progressed past weed, Temu’s deals on glass pipes and “snuff spoons” cannot be beaten.

Your one-stop shop for grillz (and also grills)

You can buy cheap grills on Temu all day, but you can also buy cheap grillz, so you can finally achieve that “local rapper circa 2003" look.

• Golden vampire fangs for $1.48

• Colorful bejeweled teeth for $7.68

• Religious themed grillz for Sunday service at only $5.98

• Gun grillz for $1.08

Temu is the perfect place to purchase sex toys

Sex toys are Temu’s killer app. The dild*-markup at your local adult bookstore borders on criminal, but the straight-from-China offerings at Temu are comically inexpensive. I do not recommend you put any of these products inside your body or putting any part of your body inside any of these often terrifying products, but here’s a small taste of the erotic side of Temu:

• These Temu buttpl*gs are only $.87 each. You can’t afford not to do some experimenting back there.

• If your experiments are nearly complete, this $20 butt-plug is the size of a melon!

• Fellas, your Bumble date will be delighted to discover you’re wearing a bright-red, elephant trunk thong; trust me on this. It’s only $1.25!

• I wouldn’t stick my junk in this USB charged device, but maybe I’m just a square.

• Human arm for scale.

• I don’t know how you’d use a silicon dragon claw in a sexy manner, but I’m not kink-shaming. Rock on!